I want to apologize for taking so long to write this post but this has been such an emotional ride that we have been on. I am not even sure where to begin. I think I will focus on our Hannah for now. The first week in country we only saw the babies as we had to have 2 DAP apts. Hannah was in the same region, (which we have found out is like a state in the US), but a different city. This was the reason for the 2nd DAP apt. When we finally saw her we had been here for 16 days! It was very stressful and difficult being here and still not being allowed to go to her. When the day finally came I was an emotional wreck and so nervous. I was afraid that she wouldn't respond to us, afraid we wouldn't connect with her, just a million ridiculous fears. I have known the Lord long enough that I should have trusted him more. It was hard to believe that we had actually traveled half way around the world to meet a picture that was now a real little girl...our little girl! I still don't know how you can see a picture, one picture, and just know that you are supposed to be that child's mom.

Our first visit was very hard not for the reasons I feared but because the child so many had seen when here adopting their children was no longer there. She was completely withdrawn and sad. She covered her face with her little hands as if to keep us and the world out. The caregivers said that she understands nothing, lives in her own world, doesn't play with or respond to other children, will not try to walk, and I could go on and on about all the negative. Had I not heard about a very different little girl I might have believed all that they were saying but I knew better. I had heard about a child that smiled, loved on the babies in her groupa, crawled, and walked with help. A very different little girl than I was seeing. It was as though being transferred into this hell hole had sucked the very life out of her. We were also pretty sure she was sedated as her movements were very slow, her eyes glassed over, and was very sleepy. I literally broke down crying when they brought her in and our facilitator wasn't sure if we still wanted her. I wasn't crying because I had changed my mind. I was crying at what they had done to this precious child of God.

We spent a couple of hours with her and after everyone had left the room she actually wanted to get into my lap. John lifted her into my arms and we both took turns holding and just loving on her. John kept saying she would be fine and that love would bring her back. I have to be honest I wasn't so sure but I knew I would spend the rest of my life trying to show her how much she was loved and valued!

Our second visit went about the same as the first only.....I brought food!!! :) She loved the fruit but when I took out chocolate cookies there was a definite spark in those eyes. I fed her a couple and then I showed her the sign for more. It only took a few times and she was saying more all on her own. This was definitely not a child living in her own world who couldn't respond. This was a child who was drugged and neglected, who was traumatized from being moved into an institution! The food worked and she began to come out of her shell...just a little but enough for me to know that we would be okay! We took her out for a walk and I could tell it was very overwhelming for her. She was frightened but we continually spoke to her in a calm voice assuring her that she was okay and safe. Once again I cried thinking of the warm sunny days that she had missed being shut up in a room for 7 years. No child should ever be afraid of being outside but she is. I also cry because she is the first child that has been adopted from this institution and we are having to leave so many behind but will never be forgotten!

Today was our 3rd visit and the first time to really begin to know our new daughter and her wonderful personality. I believe they are beginning to wean her off whatever medication they have her on. She was much more alert and awake today. Her eyes were clearer and she was coughing up the junk in her lungs. I want to add here that we asked if she was on anything and they said no. Our daughter Grace was on a number of medications for seizures and I am very aware of the signs of being on these sedatives. Her not coughing is one of those. Today she was a very different child. She was responsive to us and laughing, although it was at things like pulling the table cloth off, hitting , grabbing my shirt.etc... She was still laughing and playing with us! She does not like to be close to Josiah. I think she may even be jealous but I know with time that will change. We will have to be careful for a while as she is a big girl, (65lbs), and she doesn't know her strength. She also at times will pinch and try to bite. I believe that she has had this happen to her by other children. I know it will take time to teach her what is appropriate. She is not aggressive by any means she is just rough and because she is so big. I will have to watch her around the babies until we teach her what is okay!

To say that we are in love with her would be an understatement! John and I both know that she belongs to us and have a confidence knowing that God brought us to her. Our facilitator asked us if we were willing to care for her if she never improved. We know that she will improve but even if she didn't the answer is still unequivocally YES!

She was abandoned at birth, had surgery at 6 days old, spent the first 6 years at the baby orphanage before being transferred. She has never had anyone visit or inquire about her but that has changed now!

The babies are precious and we were in love the second they brought them in to us.  Each time we have adopted a child I am amazed that such a gift is being given to me and I felt that again. As I sat and held these two sweet babies I once again can't believe that we are being given such a blessed gift.

We found out that our Angelique, AKA, Angel was a twin. She was born with Downs and her sister wasn't...she was given away and her sister was kept. She has never had a visit or any family call to check on her. They have no idea what they are missing. She is bright, inquisitive, and funny. She is also 18 months old and the size of a 7 or 8 month old. She can sit with help but doesn't weight bare at all. However, I have no doubt that she will be giving us a run for our money shortly! She is never still and wants to grab and see everything. She now smiles when she sees us and reaches for us to pick her up. I am absolutely in love with this little Angel!

Our little Audyia has had family visit her although I don't know how often. She has no siblings that they know of. She is 11 months old and will celebrate her first B'day while we are still in country! She is maybe 10 lbs and acts like a 2 to 3 month old.  At first she didn't respond to us at all but in the last few days she has started looking at us when we talk to her, snuggling me when I hold her, and she has even smiled a couple of times which of course melted my heart! I am starting to worry that her heart condition may be more serious than they think. She doesn't move around at all and she falls asleep all the time, that coupled with her tiny size is very concerning. There is nothing I can do now other than pray and trust God to bring her safely home with us!

We are still waiting for our court date which we hope and pray will be this week. We know now we have to stay at least a week longer than we planned. John needed to be back at work on the 10th of Sept. His initial plan if we weren't finished by then was to fly home and send one of my daughters here to fly back with me. Now after seeing Hannah's size and behavior he has decided to stay no matter how long and fly back with me himself. We are defiantly going to have our hands full with Hannah, Josiah, and 2 babies...LOL! Our son-in-law offered to fly over and help us on the flight home but my do it all husband says we will be fine because and I quote "this isn't our first rodeo". We will see what he says when we are all done...LOL!

Please continue to keep us and the children in your prayers.